Another rant from Fred

I just returned from lunch in town..Wednesday is Abes bridge day so I usually go out after he leaves. So today I went to one of my favorite places, a San Francisco style Mexican restaurant with the best soup in town and mean burrito's. A nice looking couple came in and sat nearby..Suddenly a jangly noise and he answers his phone. So for the next few minutes we are entertained by him talking at high volume on his phone. Soon my soup arrives and then their lunch arrives, steaming hot..Jangle Jangle again and he's off to the races. Yak Yak while his lunch date sits there bored and his food rapidly cools. You can see where this is headed. His phone rang 4 times during lunch, and every conversation was mundane, at least from his end. So what is the fascination with carrying a phone everywhere you go, movies, theatre, restaurants, parks etc. Does it make people feel important? Indisposable. Look at me I'm so important I have to be reachable at all times. (The Fantasy) Hello..yes I want to sell my 1000 shares of google today..yup dump the whole block..I heard a rumor its falling next week. Also sell 1/2 my IBM stock and all my Microsoft..I want to be in cash for the next two months. Are you coming out to the Hamptons this summer? Blah Blah Of course all this in a very loud voice..(The Reality) Hello..yes dear I remembered the dish washing powder..Yes dear also the flour, apples, and frozen weight watchers dinners. Yes dear, Yes dear, blah blah--also at a high volume--no one seems to care how boring their conversations are, they make sure people in the neighborhood will hear them.
After lunch I shopped and caught a taxi home. Well the driver had a phone attached to his ear. I mean what the heck is that? It looks uncomfortable, it's clipped to his ear, can you dial the darn things? Is the next step something implanted in your ear? Is this big brother? Why on earth would you want to wear a phone clipped onto your ear? Even HG Wells never thought of this one. However there is hope--the newest invention from Europe is a phone zapper..some guy is annoying you? Just push the button and his phone stops working!! I love it--anyone looking for a Xmas gift for me??
When I moved here to my quiet, somewhat backward colonial town in Mexico cell phones didn't exist here, in fact my friends the Butlers had the first I saw here, to keep in touch with their daughter, age 12 at the time. Suddenly a few years ago it exploded here, now it seems everyone has one. standing on a corner to cross the street last week I saw three cars in a row where the driver was on the phone.
Ok full disclosure--I own a cell phone..in fact its sitting here on my desk, dusty, forlorn, dead battery. but its still mine. When Abe and I went to Puerto Vallarta last winter the phone in our room didn't work, and it seemed there was little hope it would. So I bought a cell phone, mainly so Abe's family and mine could contact us, as well as friends who came to town. I set up a few personal rules of etiquette for myself, not to be used in the bridge club, turn off ringer in restaurants, movies, etc. if necessary to speak go outside. So when we returned it sat for months..Then a big accident on our street here knocked out our phone service...So off to the phone place I went to buy a new chip for San Miguel..I used the phone for a week or so until we were back in service..and now it sits--
Of course there are exceptions..lawyers, Dr.'s, proctologists, therapists, and my limo driver. The other major exception is a "crazy" person--the kind that talk to themselves..from now on all they need to do is pick up one of those disposable phones all the drug dealers use and no one will ever know they are crazy..The last one I listened to was explaining how the space aliens had landed and built their space station up his rectum-- and now their flying saucers give him no peace. Now that is worth listening to.